Changes! We Don't Need No Stinking Changes!
Have you heard cross-dressers say that society isn't ready for us? You know that's true of not only cross-dressers but gays, lesbians, bisexuals and every flavor of transgenderist. What will it take to get the public ready for us? For openers, they won't be accepting of us until we are accepting of ourselves. As long as we project cross-dressing as a problem, those who meet us will detect those feelings and likely adopt them as their own. But once we achieve self-acceptance we need to interact with the world because the only way they will ever get used to us is by seeing us and interacting with us.
Don't waste time looking for a shortcut to full acceptance by society. We have a long, difficult road ahead and must take all of the steps. Conventional wisdom advises us to give up and return to our closets. Accept the current reality because it can't be changed. That's what some would like us to believe but quite the opposite is true. I can remember a time in my life when –
No Smoking sections didn't exist in any restaurants
Family planning clinics weren't even a gleam in someone's eye
All members of Congress were men
Gays and lesbians were totally in the closet
Look back through the years and see how many major innovations and societal changes have occurred in your life time. Conditions have always changed and are changing at an ever increasing rate. The question is not, will conditions change? Rather, it is how will they change?
Every significant transformation of the fabric of society has been led by a relatively small group of individuals who had a vision of something that didn't exist. They used various tactics to influence society in a way that was compatible with their vision. Most people took no action and simply went along for the ride. Your choice is to either work to influence society or do nothing but go along for the ride (remember the involved chicken and the committed pig?). If you like the way things are and don't need no stinking changes, don't do anything. But if you don't like the way things are, quit complaining and commit to achieving your vision. When you make that commitment you can begin to transform society. It may not happen in the manner you expect or when you expect, but it will happen.
Some people remember Jimmy Valvano as the hero who fought cancer. Others remember him as a man who lost his job over a point-shaving scandal. I remember him as the basketball coach whose team accomplished the impossible. The 1983 North Carolina State Wolfpack was a good basketball team, but most people didn't expect them to get into the NCAA tournament. They got in. Even fewer people expected them to win a game in the tournament. They won several games. The experts agreed that NC State could not get to the final four. They got to the final four. Everyone knew they couldn't win the tournament. Their chance of winning was compared to the likelihood of an elephant driving in the Indianapolis 500. Houston's Phi Slamma Jamma were prohibitive favorites. Everyone knew that Houston couldn't be beaten. Everyone was wrong. NC State did the impossible. They won the tournament. They had a vision and worked hard to achieve it.
Who decides what's possible and impossible? We mostly do that ourselves. Often we listen to others in authoritative positions and convince ourselves that there is nothing we can do. So we do nothing and nothing happens. We don't have to repeat that process. If enough of us share the vision of an open, accepting society, we will forever alter the fabric of society. The experts will not give us a chance, but they've been wrong before. Just as NC State, we too can accomplish a miracle.
The inside story is that even the most powerful institutions are composed of people who are every bit as human as we are. They want us to believe that they are in total control, that their position is unassailable. The truth is -- they are as susceptible to doubts and fears as the rest of us. Even deeply-rooted customs are more vulnerable than the experts and authorities want us to know.
We collectively have the power to create a more open and accepting society. We only have to learn to accept ourselves and then interact with others so they can see that in the most important ways, we are just like them. Every Tri-Ess Chapter has programs that promote that process. Only your reluctance to get involved can hold you back. Begin the trip to achieve your vision of the future and help making changes. Make a written commitment that this year you will take one step beyond wherever you've been before, share that commitment with one person and give them regular progress reports.
As Brenda Lee said -- "Just take one, step at a time, just one step at a time."
When you look back next year, you'll be amazed at how far you've come...
