In the Winter edition we played an imaginative game in which we lived in an open, accepting society. In that society, it was impossible to distinguish men from women based solely on their clothing, hair style, makeup, or behavior patterns. There were no sexual or gender judgments attached to those things. Everyone simply dressed and acted the way they felt comfortable.
Given that premise about society, you were asked to consider how you would like to dress and act. You were encouraged to define your unique personal style. How did it go?
Some of you may be skeptical about the point or value of this activity. Healthy skepticism is good. I would be worried if these ideas were accepted without challenge. But, don't simply dismiss new ideas without consideration.
I must confess that this is more than a harmless, little game. It has incredible power to transform things, and, by playing it, you can lay the foundation to accomplish the changes you've been dreaming about.
I don't know exactly what you dream about, but our relationship with Tri-Ess gives us some strong, common ground. Since most of us can be considered heterosexual, male cross-dressers, we are an extremely homogenous group. We share many of the same wants, needs, and desires. For instance, I wish that –
Society would accept my open displays of feminine behavior.
I could choose any gender role traits and use them openly.
I could freely use the gender role that was most appropriate for my feelings at that time.
I didn't have to worry about my physical male characteristics showing when wearing feminine clothing.
The overwhelming majority of transvestites share these feelings to some extent. If that open, accepting world existed, it would resolve each of these issues. And, it can exist! Our situation is a parallel path with Blacks, women, gays, and every other minority. Our road is difficult, but not as difficult as others. Each of these groups has made great progress in promoting their cause. We need to do the same.
The game can help. It is based on a model described by Peter Senge (The Fifth Discipline, The Art & Practice of The Learning Organization, Doubleday, 1990, Chapter 9, Personal Mastery). In that model, the shared vision is a specific destination to achieve. You can make the vision more real by adding your own unique, personal style. Together, they form a picture of a desired future, a future that has intrinsic value for you. The picture is not vague, but a tangible, individual, vision that matters. It is a clear picture of where you want to be, and how things will look and feel when you get there. The shared vision is the desired objective, and the current reality is the present condition. There is usually a large gap between them. In this case, the gap looks like the space between the solar system and the rim of the Milky Way, (the galaxy, not the candy bar). A large gap can lead to discouragement and a lowering of the vision, but it can also generate creative tension, a powerful force for improvement. Visualize creative tension as a giant elastic band, capable of pulling us forward through the gap. It is capable of doing exactly that.
These articles are designed to encourage you to make the changes that will benefit you and our community. Making these changes does take courage. Facing and dealing with things recognized as dangerous, difficult, or painful, instead of withdrawing from them, is a courageous act. But taking these steps, brings great rewards, like achieving your dreams.
The first step is to embrace the shared vision and create your personal style. That willingness to adopt another approach, is the key to success. Nothing important happens without a vision. One person's vision has power, but a shared vision has significantly greater power. None of us can achieve the vision alone, but together we can. Each of us has unique ways to open the closed society, and that variety adds to our strength. Your actions encourage others to join, which causes our power to increase dramatically. Open your mind to these new thoughts, release the creative tension, and allow it to propel you forward to convert your dreams into reality.
