I appreciate your concern for my spiritual well-being but don't write me off as a sinner in need of repentance until you've at least heard my situation. Like everyone else I have a great deal to confess and ask for forgiveness and find myself doing so regularly, but I don't think that applies in this particular aspect of my life.
I don't have any gender or sexual identity crisis but for most of my life I did struggle with uncertainty and confusion. All I heard through the world and the church was that any sort of cross-dressing was wrong and anyone who engaged in it was sick and evil. These prevalent attitudes made it virtually impossible to have any discussions to resolve the issues so they continued and worsened. It took many years to reach peace in my heart from both a societal and religious perspective.
I only find one specific reference to the subject of cross-dressing in the Bible -- "A woman must not wear men's clothing, and a man must not wear women's clothing." Deuteronomy 22:5. There are many interpretations of the text but it curiously lists the prohibition first against women (we tend to ignore that part) and focus on the second part against men. Perhaps the most commonly mentioned interpretation is that it was a prohibition of the cross-dressing that was done in pagan worship services and concerned the worshipping of false gods and related sexual activities. Another interpretation is that women dressed as men to participate in worship service activities that were reserved for men. Perhaps that explains why women were listed first. Some commentaries (Jamieson, Fausset & Brown) say it is a strict prohibition against transvestism. Others (J.A. Thompson, Adam Clarke and Zondervan) say it isn't about cross-dressing per se.
There are many opinions from serious writers and, given the lack of clarity on this matter, I believe it is wrong for "The Church" to look at Deut 22:5 and automatically brand every cross-dresser as a sinner in need of repentance. With that great variety of interpretation, how can anyone take an absolute stand. And if we condemn men for this, what do we say about today's women, including those in the church, who wear clothing that is considered men's. They aren't condemned out-of-hand so how can we explain that?
We need to look at the specific circumstances to see what is going on with the person before making a judgment. While we commonly use one single label to cover all cross-dressers, there is an almost infinite variety and no label can possibly apply.
My point is to put a stop to the universal branding of any kind of cross-dressing as a sin requiring repentance and be open to consider the idea that the Bible may not actually be condemning a man simply for wearing a dress. I hope you can understand and accept that position. If the church took that approach, we would be able to have discussions about what is going on and deal with it in a constructive way. I believe real dialog is needed before rushing to judgment on people's lives.