The little train was carrying toys and candy to the good little boys and girls who lived on the other side of the mountain when the old engine suddenly quit working. How would the toys and candy get to the children? A new engine was needed, but the shiny new passenger engine was too proud to pull a train of toys. The big strong freight engine felt that he was too important for such a small job. A kind engine approached and wanted to help but he was old and rusty and too tired to pull the train.
The situation seemed hopeless until a little blue engine came chugging merrily along. The little engine wanted to help the sad children, but she had never done anything more than switch trains in the yard. Yet the children's need was so great that she just had to try. She hooked up to the train and tugged and pulled and very slowly they started. As she puffed along she kept whispering I think I can...I think I can... As the little engine gained confidence in her abilities the train went faster and faster. When she passed by you could hear her shouting, "I know I can... I know I can..." She finally reached the top of the mountain and rolled down to the other side. The little blue engine was so happy because she had gone beyond anything she'd ever done before and helped the good children who needed her.
Like that little engine I lacked the self-confidence to take on new situations and always deferred to those whom I perceived as the "qualified people" -- the shiny new MBA graduate, the big strong corporate executive and the kind old retired school board member. I complained instead of getting personally involved in issues and waited for someone else to take action.
A few years ago, due to a planned construction project, the city in which I lived closed a commuter train parking lot. I was upset because parking was difficult but there didn't seem to be any point in arguing. Several months later I learned that the project had been postponed indefinitely but the parking lot remained empty. I did my normal complaining until my wife Marsha asked why I didn't do something about it. My response was typical for me, "What the hell can I do? Everyone knows you can't fight city hall." Marsha persisted and said that if I wasn't going to do anything I forfeited the right to complain.
So I sulked around the house for several days mumbling that her expectations were clearly unrealistic. I checked the local paper thinking it would supply some information that would prove my point but found instead that ordinary citizens frequently addressed the city council on issues they considered important. I recognized some of the names of the petitioners, and they didn't seem like the "qualified people" I expected to speak out. If they could do it, why couldn't I?
After arguing with myself for several days, I finally decided to attend a council meeting. I took my turn at the microphone and described the situation. They listened, asked a few questions and said they would consider the request. I didn't agree with their ultimate decision to retain the parking ban but the experience forever changed my perspective. I realized that I didn't have to sit on the side line while supposedly more "qualified people" made decisions for me. I could take an active role in determining my destiny. After years of saying, "I know I can't," I started saying, "I think I can" and ended up saying, "I know I can."
Do you know what?
You can take an active role too!
You can make something happen.
You can make a difference.
You can change the world.
But to do so you have to quit complaining, quit downgrading your capabilities and take action! We are all capable if we just start. There are as many courses of action as there are individuals but let me suggest a simple way to begin to transform your inaction into action.
I have received many positive responses to my articles but the percentage of respondents is still relatively small (3% of the audience is considered a big response). The percentage who report taking active steps is even smaller. Other writers and editors report a similar lack of response. So as a first step in breaking the cycle of inactivity, why not respond to the following questions from my previous letters:
In January I asked if you would - "Make a written commitment that next year you will take one step beyond wherever you've been before, share that commitment with one person and give them regular progress reports!"
Did you make a commitment? __________
Will you? __________
What are your next steps? __________
In March I asked if you would support a shared objective - "The gender family is understood by and accepted into mainstream society."
Did you support the objective? __________
Will you? __________
What are your next steps? __________
In May I asked if you would take a pledge - "I pledge to accept every individual who considers themselves part of either the gender or gay/lesbian communities as a member of my gender family. I will treat their view of gender expression with dignity and respect. When someone doesn't accept me, my view or my principles, I will explain my position and invite them to share their thinking. I will NEVER attack them or their position. I will seek to understand first, then to be understood. I will; however, insist that they communicate in the same constructive manner. If we cannot interact in a respectful manner, I will disengage as gracefully as possible while leaving the door open for future discussion. Inevitably I will fail to honor the pledge fully. When that happens, I ask that you remind me of my commitment."
Did you take the pledge? __________
Will you? __________
What are your next steps? __________
The wonders of technology make it possible to answer these questions in a few seconds. Just key in the answers, highlight the material, press reply and press send. That's a beginning. If you don't believe yourself capable, consider this:
"We all have possibilities we don't know about.
We can do things we don't even dream we can do."
Dale Carnegie
"I am where I am because I believe in all possibilities."
Whoopi Goldberg
"You must do the things you think you cannot do."
Eleanor Roosevelt
"What you lack in talent
can be made up with desire, hustle
and giving 110 percent all the time."
Don Zimmer
