Consider this...
During my discussions with religious leaders about Deut 22:5 I repeatedly stressed that we need to look at the specific circumstances to see what is really going on with the individual person before making any kind of judgment. My point was to end the universal judging of any kind of cross-dressing as a sin requiring repentance and to consider the idea that the Bible may not actually be condemning a man simply for wearing a dress. Then we would be able to have discussions about what is going on and deal with the underlying issues in a constructive way. I stressed that real dialog is needed before rushing to judgment.
Does that mean we are Okay? No! Cross-dressing was a significant problem for me for a long time. It took several years of reading books, correspondence with others, study and introspection for me to finally discover that there wasn’t anything intrinsically wrong with cross-dressing. But until I achieved that understanding, balance and perspective, it posed a problem for me personally and in my relationships with others. It also formed a particularly strong wedge between God and me. The tragedy is that none of the healing flowed through the church. I never felt that I could obtain any help for my problems from any spiritual source. So, I went elsewhere.
It is my observation that cross-dressing is a significant problem for many of us. There are many cases where it is decidedly unhealthy because it is out of control, secretive and used as escapism. It undermines relationships, leads to excessive use of alcohol and drugs and, far too frequently, to life endangering actions. The problems continue and worsen because people are afraid to talk about them. The most consistent message I received from other cross-dressers was to never tell anyone because I would lose everything. Our secrets own us and through continued hiding, small problems become overwhelmingly large.
So what are we to do?
We know that God loves us. We know that He wants a loving relationship with us. While cross-dressing may not be a sin in and of itself, it is an issue in many of our lives and, as such, affects our relationship with God. We need to fix that. We should not recoil from the idea of our issues being sin because we are all sinners. But being a sinner doesn’t warrant condemnation. It warrants forgiveness.
Several of the religious leaders who wrote in support of transgendered people also expressed concerns about some of the underlying issues that needed to be addressed…
The question YOU must answer is: Why is it necessary for you to dress like a woman? What is it about changing clothes that commands / controls your personality? I worry that you are NOT becoming "whole" by cross-dressing, but you are demonstrating instead that you are "fractured." To that end, I would suggest counseling ... not to "fix" you but to help you discover the underlying attitudes, experiences, etc. which have caused your continued "brokenness." By the way the only source of true Wholeness is through a personal relationship with Jesus ... not religion ... not "churchianity" ... but a daily, living relationship with the risen Lord of lords. Pastor Dennis
If you lived in Scotland you would notice that men sometimes wear kilts, that basically are dresses. In the Middle East and other places both men and women where long robes. So the question of what men wear obviously is cultural. But the fact that you have this "desire" to wear a dress that is obviously compelling in some degree is a problem. This attachment or desire to the clothes one wears is a form of bondage. Perhaps it is no different then other compulsions people feel for other things. We all have them to some degree. That is the question and that is really where the question of your freedom comes in. Are you really free when you are controlled by attachments to something? Brother John
The most important thing to do is to be open and honest with ourselves about where we are and what we need. My book The Bliss of Becoming One! is an excellent resource in understanding and accepting ourselves. It was originally conceived as a self-help workbook to assist transgendered people in uncovering and resolving their issues. It is an excellent tool for understanding and acceptance.
Every one of us has problems that are kept hidden inside because we don't feel free to deal with them. Rather than getting resolved they become increasing burdens. This is particularly true about cross-dressing. The only effective treatment is to be honest about the issues and seek constructive solutions rather than hiding. The most effective treatment and constructive solution is to plug into God.
God knows where you are. He knows your innermost hurts and fears. He wants to help you with them but He won’t force Himself on you. You have to invite Him in. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. He is spring-loaded to the I-love-you-more-than-you-can-imagine position. Why not let Him in…
By releasing our issues
(confessing our sins)
We can lean on God’s grace
And begin building our relationship with Him.
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