Dear Richard,
Thanks for writing! I will be to the point in love. The behavior you are manifesting is a precursor to abnormal homosexuality. If you choose to leave the door open on this deviant behavior, your level of depravity will deepen thus carrying you farther away from Jesus Christ as your savior. We serve a holy God. Because of this, He cannot look on sinful behavior. It is Scripturally accurate to inform you that God did not make beings which were a combination of both female and male. To do so would have violated His very character. He does not do this.
Therefore, I admonish you in love to get on your knees, confess this sinful behavior as straight out of hell as a lie of Satan, ask God to forgive your embrace of it, and repent, which means to walk the other way from it. If you refuse to do this, the Scriptures very clearly say that you choose separation from God, He does not impose it.
With regard to finding a church who will accept you and your behavior as is without expectation of change, is to find a church that has equally confused the difference between loving acceptance in Jesus Christ and condoning blatant sin. May God have mercy on any church or leadership who will erroneously imply that you are ok. If you want me to back this up Scripturally, I can do so. I hope that you do not feel condemned, but rather informed of the truth that can set you free. Because when the Son sets you free, you are free indeed. Currently, you are in bondage to the enemy of your soul and are under delusion to think that your behavior is acceptable in God's sight. Just because you can find justification among the ungodly does not mean you are without sin. In first John, it is made very clear that those who love God keep His commands and live as He appointed them to live. The word says that no homosexual (or those who embrace its ideologies) will enter the kingdom of God. I hope God enlightens you and leads you to repentance so that you will not perish in sin. God bless!
In Christ,
Greg
Dear Greg,
Perhaps the most common misconception regarding cross-dressers is that they are homosexuals. In fact virtually all are heterosexual. In my specific case, if the behavior that I am exhibiting is a precursor to abnormal homosexuality it is the slowest moving process I've ever seen. Since I am now 57 and have no interest in homosexuality I may be past the century mark before it takes hold of me. This really isn't an issue about homosexuality at all. Please consider the following.
At this stage in my life I don't have any gender or sexual identity crisis but for most of my life I did struggle with uncertainty and confusion. All I ever heard through "the world" AND "the church" was that any sort of cross-dressing was wrong and if you engaged in it you were sick and evil. These prevalent attitudes made it virtually impossible to have any discussions to resolve the issues so they continued and worsened. It took me many years to reach peace in my heart from both a societal perspective and a religious one.
I can only find one specific reference to the subject of cross-dressing in the Bible -- "A woman must not wear men's clothing, and a man must not wear women's clothing." Deuteronomy 22:5. There are many interpretations of the text but it curiously lists the prohibition first against women and we tend to ignore that part and focus on the second part against men. Perhaps the most commonly mentioned interpretation is that it was a prohibition of the cross-dressing that was done in some pagan worship services and was mostly about the worshipping of false gods and related sexual activities. Another often mentioned is that women sometimes dressed as men to participate in worship service activities that were reserved for men, perhaps that explains why women were listed first. Some commentaries (Jamieson, Fausset & Brown) say it is a strict prohibition against any sort of cross-dressing. Others (J.A. Thompson, Adam Clarke and Zondervan) say it clearly isn't about cross-dressing per se.
In any event there are many opinions from serious writers. Given the lack of clarity on this matter, I believe it is wrong for "The Church" to look at Deut 22:5 and AUTOMATICALLY brand any cross-dresser as a sinner in need of repentance. With that great variety of interpretation, how can "the church" take an absolute stand. And if we are to condemn men for this activity, what do we say about today's women, including those in the church, who do in fact wear clothing that is considered men's clothes. They don't seem to get condemned out-of-hand just for wearing those clothes. How can we explain that?
Because there is only one verse and there is a significant lack of clarity in it, I believe that we need to look at the specific circumstances to see what is really going on with the individual person before making any kind of judgment. While we commonly use one single label to cover all cross-dressers, there is an almost infinite variety of people and circumstances. No one label can possibly apply.
My whole point is to work to put a stop to the universal branding of any kind of cross-dressing as a sin requiring repentance and at least being open to consider the idea that the Bible may not actually be condemning a man simply for wearing a dress. I hope you can understand and accept that position. If the church took that approach, then we would be able to have discussions about what is going on and deal with it in a constructive way. Real dialog is needed before rushing to judgment on people's lives.
Richard
Dear Richard,
Thanks for writing back! I certainly hope that my last email was not condemning of you as a person, but rather drew into the light your associated behavior. In God's eyes, you are eternally valuable as one of his unique creations. God loves you and so do I as a brother in Christ. With regard to your point of view in your most recent note, I have this to say. First, regarding your Scriptural reference, it is irrelevant whether women or men are mentioned first. Each of us is accountable for our own actions before God and man. We cannot answer for those of others. Second, in Philippians chapter two, the Word tells us to have the same attitude as Christ Jesus. Was He a cross-dresser in the midst of His society? He most certainly was not. He dressed in an appropriate way in which made Him well-recognized as a man in His culture. Third, He was not trying to justify any of His personal behavior by any other means other than saying, "I am only doing what I have seen my Father in heaven doing." Therefore, for you to attempt justifying your somewhat deviant habit of cross-dressing under the guise of Christianity is erroneous. To condone such activity as a Christian serving Jesus Christ under God the Father, is to imply or outright say that God was a cross-dresser. This position is the only one in light of Scripture of any sort on this matter that would justify your acceptance of your habit of cross-dressing as normal in God's eyes. Therefore, you are merely experiencing the repercussions of trying to label ungodly activity as godly. That is why you are finding such opposition.
I am not judging you. I am trying to speak the truth in love as your brother in Christ by gently restoring you through the truth. I have done so by moving passed any Scripture reference to cross-dressing per say, and have pointed you directly at the character of God and Jesus Christ. If you can find Scriptural evidence to suggest that our holy, eternal, omnipotent God is a cross-dresser on the eternal scene, then and only then, can you justify your activity. I hope you will take this prayerfully to your knees. God loves you and wants you to be restored to wholesome fellowship among the body. If you have further questions, please write!
God bless! In Christ,
Greg
Dear Greg,
I can only assume from your dismissal of the references to various interpretations of the meaning of Deut 22:5 that you discard these views as irrelevant: J.A. Thompson -- "this law in its original setting has no direct implication for modern life..." Adam Clarke -- "It certainly cannot mean a simple change in dress, whereby men might pass for women, and vice versa. This would have been impossible in those countries where the dress of the sexes had but little to distinguish it, and where every man wore a long beard." Zondervan -- "The prohibition against a woman wearing men's clothing and vice versa can scarcely refer to transvestism. Most probably illicit sexual practices..."
I would also assume that if an elder of your church were to attend a Halloween party and dress as a witch, you would brand him a sinner and violator of Deut 22:5 and insist that he repent. Similarly, if the wife of a member of your congregation wore pants with suspenders and a shirt and tie to work, you would charge her with the same offense. If you take the literal interpretation of the verse to be true, then you would have to do that since there is no room for interpretation or special circumstances. Perhaps that is the view reflected by Jamieson, Fausset, & Brown and Barnes' Notes.
You say that the only way to justify cross-dressing would be to show that God is a cross-dresser on the eternal scene. That sort of reasoning isn't based on Scripture and could lead to such absurd positions as saying marriage is unlawful because God isn't married or you can't be a lawyer because Jesus was a carpenter. That is just plain bad thinking.
All I am suggesting is that there needs to be room to look at the individual case rather than make a blanket condemnation on a Scripture that serious expositors have difficulty in agreeing on the proper meaning and application. To take it as a literal absolute would appear to be a twisting of God's word.
Sincerely,
Richard
Dear Richard,
Thanks for the note. My last note was sent to find which direction you would take, to face Christ as He is, or to justify yourself through meaningless double talk. Unfortunately, you chose the second course. You see, I would not be drawn into many of the smoke screen side line issues you raised. One of the key ways people who do not want to face themselves respond, is to project off in many other directions. The bottom line is this. God made you a man by anatomical definition. God does not make mistakes, people do. At this point, you can choose to believe whatever you like as it is obvious you will do anyway. Though you seem to want to label the church universal as to strict in their views because they will not adopt your values, it appears that you are at a stalemate in your quest to topple their resolve in the matter. If you think it acceptable to wear your dress, then why not make it acceptable for people to enter the church covered with satanic ritual garb, or clothed in outer adornment made from the skin of slaughtered children. Where does you logic stop Richard? Therefore, by all means take whatever liberties you think you can justify before God when you stand before Him. After all, isn't that what we'll all have to do. It's apparent that your concerned about your behavior or you wouldn't spend so much time trying to justify it. I'm not worried about dressing like joe-blow-american. Write again when you are serious about facing your downwardly spiraling behavior trend. You're in my prayers.
Greg
Dear Greg,
I find it quite interesting that you brand a discussion of serious Biblical commentaries as "meaningless double talk." You accuse me of not facing myself and projecting off in other directions but that is exactly what you are doing by refusing to discuss the issue.
You have branded and labeled me without ever getting to know me or what cross-dressing is like for me or what part it plays in my life. I don't recall Jesus behaving in that fashion. Your response serves to drive people away from the very spiritual help they seek and need. Thankfully God has shown far more compassion and love toward me than you have. Had He not done that I would indeed be in what you define as "downwardly spiraling behavior trend."
Richard
Dear Richard,
As my wife and I have read all of your letters, we thought at least we would try to be straight forward with you and give you an opportunity to respond to correction. First, I refuse to enter into a quibbling match with you. You can take that as close-mindedness or lack of compassion if you so choose. However, a teachable spirit reaps a harvest of righteousness when it is trained by discipline (Hebrews 12). It is obvious that you would rather argue than discuss. I have not "labeled" you as you have put it. Rather, I have drawn into question a behavior style that doesn't fit a healthy mold. There's an old saying that seems to fit here. "If you have to justify something in order to make o.k., you probably shouldn't be doing it." You see, you're trying to justify your behavior. I'm not trying to justify mine. At this point, I believe that your "cross-dressing" tendencies are a symptom of something much deeper within. In the past 40 years, every person I've come in contact with whose determined to deviate in areas like yours, is doing nothing other that drawing attention to themselves. Usually, it's tied to a deep wound, rejection, hatred, unforgiveness, or unresolved bitterness. The behavior is nothing more than a symptom which results. Therefore, my question is, "what's really eating you?"
Let me clarify my position. I do not believe your behavior will get you disbarred from heaven or eternity with Christ. The root cause may, but not your current symptom. Ask yourself a few questions.
1. Do you harbor bitterness against anyone who challenges your thinking or freedom on this issue?
2. Are you willing to submit yourself to the authority and guidance of anyone who may oppose you on this issue?
3. Are you trying to conform to the church universal, or are you trying to find a church which conforms to you?
Richard, if anyone is having difficulty discussing this matter, it's you. I simply refuse to fight with you. I'm sure you can find people who'll do that everywhere you go. You can choose to view my position as harsh and unloving or you can choose to ask God if it's true and believe in my approach as trying to love you back to the truth. I really have very little else to say on the matter. I could very easily take you to a myriad of Scriptures which I found my position upon. However, it seems that this would only inflame your response rather than bear fruit. People who love Jesus Christ do not have to get to know the intimacy of how a person's poor habits take on meaning to them. The Spirit of God makes it very clear when things are off track. Since it's your issue and you feel my input is invalid, I suppose you can simply continue to look for someone who will jump into the pit of self-pity with you as they tell you everything you do is o.k. Remember, people throughout the Bible did not like what the prophets told them, even when the prophet was Christ. Unfortunately for the stiff-necked, their response to God's truth did not invalidate His truth or remove its imposed repercussions. Once again, God loves you and so do I. It's up to you whether you believe it or not. This is my last response. God bless!
Greg